Special Pigeons

Discover what is a special pigeon and share some of yours

Dear reader,

Let’s begin with an introduction to this newsletter. I’m a writer, a late-diagnosed autistic woman who has numerous special pigeons (interests). Some accompany me for life and others flutter in and out. A few at the moment include: reading, collecting books, art being for everyone, films, classical music, writing, autism and learning to rest. What are some of yours?

David Lean’s 1946 film Brief Encounter: one of my many film obsessions that I would watch most weeks when I was about 13. It seduced me with its charm, black and white photography, dramatic lighting, witty dialogue in clipped British accents, themes of love and repression, and sweeping score of Rachmaninov’s Piano Concerto #2 that later became an obsession in its own right.

The phrase ‘special pigeon’ crops up in one of the conversations between the protagonists, Laura and Alec, as they are learning about each other. Here is their exchange from the film:

Laura: Why did you become a doctor?
Alec: That's a long story. Perhaps because I'm a bit of an idealist.
Laura: I think all doctors ought to have ideals, really. Otherwise, their work would be unbearable.
Alec: Surely, you're not encouraging me to talk shop.
Laura: Why shouldn't you talk shop? It's what interests you most, isn't it?
Alec: Yes, it is. I'm terribly ambitious really, not ambitious for myself so much as for my special pigeon.
Laura: What is your special pigeon?
Alec: Preventive medicine.
Laura: I see.
Alec: I'm afraid you don't.
Laura: I was trying to be intelligent.
Alec: Most good doctors, especially when they're young, have private dreams. That's the best part of it. Sometimes though, those get over-professionalized and strangulated...What I mean is this, all good doctors must primarily be enthusiasts. They must, like writers and painters and priests, they must have a sense of vocation. A deep-rooted, unsentimental desire to do good.
Laura: Yes, I see that.
Alec: Well, obviously one way of preventing disease is worth fifty ways of curing it. That's where my ideal comes in. Preventive medicine isn't anything to do with medicine at all, really. It's concerned with conditions, living conditions and hygeine and common-sense. For instance, my specialty is pneumoconiosis...it's nothing but a slow process of fibrosis of the lung due to the inhalation of particles of dust. In the hospital here, there are splendid opportunities for observing cures and making notes because of the coal mines.
Laura: You suddenly look much younger.
Alec: Do I?
Laura: Almost like a little boy.

This dialogue where Alec talks in more detail than necessary, and with a passion and enthusiasm not seen previously felt familiar. Being asked a simple question and being unable to contain my enthusiasm when speaking about a topic I love. Giving intricate details beyond at times the listener’s interest or understanding is something I often do. At school, this was discouraged for separating me from my peers. However I’ve since discovered that it makes me a passionate and enthusiastic teacher and researcher. Traits I love about myself. One of my many passions is helping other people to discover and nurture their own special pigeons, which I have been able to do by teaching independent research. What do you want to know more about? Become an expert in?

For many these special pigeons are used as an indicator of autism, yet often only recognised as such when they’re about trains, Star Trek or science. This has left many women with seemingly more conventional obsessions (fashion, music and literature) to be ignored and not receiving the support they need. I was one of such women being left in the wastelands and suggested to have a myriad of mental health problems that have settled since finally at age 37, I’ve been diagnosed as autistic. For me this has enabled me to find community and a language to explain my experience, but more on this in future issues.

Until next time when there might be more on well-being, autism, art, books, films and writing. Any one of my special pigeons, and I leave you with a closing question, so just hit reply: what are your special pigeons?

Love and rest,

Autistic Special Pigeon